Comics

Animal Tested, Mother Approved by Brian Kaminske

Corporate Mango by Jon Diotalevi

Sudoku

Sudoku is made up of a 9 x 9 playing field with numbers from 1 to 9 scattered throughout. The object of the game is to fill every column, row and 3 x 3 box with the numbers 1 through 9, without repeating any numbers in any given column, row or box.

The difficulty level of the puzzles will change from week to week. Some will be easy. Some will be moderate. Some will make you want to cry. It’s gonna be a grab bag, so hang on.

If you get stuck, the answers can be found here, but don’t give in unless you absolutely cannot do it! What fun is finishing it if you had to cheat?

Horoscopes

By Madame Violet Virgo

ARIES
March 24 - April 19
Halloween is right around the corner and you have this great idea to be one of the muscular Spartans from the hit movie “300.” It’d be best not to try to pull off this costume because you will end up exposing more than you meant to.

TAURUS
April 20 - May 20
Res has not been too kind to your stomach lately. Skip Res today! Dine out tonight! You deserve it. Have some friends come along, too. It is bound to be a great time, creating new memories.

GEMINI
May 21 - June 21
Stop putting off that lengthy paper that is due in just a couple of days. Devote much of your time this weekend to developing your paper. Use the library’s resources. You will be thankful in the end because you will earn a satisfying grade on the paper.

CANCER
June 22 - July 22
Your RA is throwing a floor program this week and you have yet to attend one of the previous floor programs. Attend this one. It will be a fun, relaxing time that will, ultimately, help you get to know your neighbors better. New friendships will be created if you go and involve yourself.

LEO
July 23 - August 22
You haven’t dared to look under your bed since move-in day. Well, it’s time look under there! It needs come cleaning and some organizing. Take a couple hours out of the day to do this for yourself. You will have much more storage space once this task is complete.

VIRGO
August 23 - September 22
Someone you are acquainted with asks you out on a date for this weekend. Be cautious with your response. You initially want to agree to go out, but don’t. You will end up at a party that gets busted by the police. Everyone’s ID’s will be confiscated and your parents will not forgive you right away.

LIBRA
September 23 - October 22
You have been down in the dumps lately and you have no idea why. How can you possible cheer yourself up when you do not know what is wrong in the first place? The solution is simple: hit the mall and buy yourself a new outfit.

SCORPIO
October 23 – November 21
Your room needs something fun, something to spice it up a bit. Buy a goldfish and decorate the fishbowl with cool castles and fake plants. This will create positive feng shui.

SAGITTARIUS
November 22 - December 21
It is insane how much you have been sending text messages from your cell phone lately. Your bill is huge and you just do not have the money to afford it. Stop sending those texts as much and use the minutes you have, but barely use, by actually calling others more often.

CAPRICORN
December 22 - January 19
Creativity is running through your veins! It travels down your arms and into your fingertips. Let your fingers run wild while you sit at the computer with a blank word document open. Your creative thoughts will produce an excellent short story that you never would have expected to write.

AQUARIUS
January 20 - February 18
You left your Facebook profile minimized on your computer. When you returned hours later, you discovered someone had tampered with it. You are now in a relationship with someone unknown to you and your hometown has been changed to Jupiter ­ amongst other annoying changes. This will teach you a lesson about not logging out of Facebook.

PISCES
February 19 - March 20
It’s time for a swim. Your body has been craving a good swimming session. Go to the gymnasium’s pool with some friends and you will have a fabulous time jumping off the diving board and having races. Just don’t run while on the high-dive. If you do, you will slip and do the worst belly flop anyone has ever seen.

Poetic Perfection

For What Was Once Us

By Anonymous

Passionate pleasure no longer present;
At long last love, no longer living;
Healthy heartbeats, no longer heard;
Shining smiles, no longer singing here.

Magical touch, where have you gone to?
So blessed. Who is it that has you now?
Not here. Who is it that feels this stolen bliss?
When is it that you will find your way back?

Sheltered in shadows so somber;
Tainting the truth of tall tales;
Wasting wonder in waiting for whatever;
Helplessly hiding in homes of hopelessness here.

Oh, So It Goes…

By S.S.

she hopes her tears are invisible,
and her cries, silent.
what a shame it’d be for them to see her
as she falls.
yet they’d probably love to be
front row witnesses of her face meeting the pavement...

If you would like to see your own poetry published in the Torch, email ssarnelli@umassd.edu.